The Real Santa Claus
We all know the story of Santa Claus, but do we know who this man really is? He's known for putting Christmas presents under the Christmas tree for all the good girls and boys of the world. But what about the other 364 days of the year? We assume he and his elves are making toys for the following year, but this isn't really the case.
My father personally worked with with Santa over seas. He saved his life as well as the lives of many. He's an elite multi-force operator taking missions that others can not do. He's worked with different task forces such as the Navy Seals, British SAS and others. Yes, the myths about Santa is real, he is thousands of years old, flys around in a sleigh with reindeer. But what is not known is the fact that he's a killing machine that brings peace to the world through superior fire power and surgical attacks. From the crusades, WWII to today's conflicts, Santa had his hands secretly aiding in the fight for freedom.
This explains why no one can ever spot him. Many children have waited Christmas Eve to see him only to find Christmas presents under the tree with no clue on how he got past their security. He always seem to get past the best home security systems, dogs and even surveillance cameras. He accomplishes this by using the same stealth tactics he uses during his black ops missions. His red suite and beer gut are just myths made up by folks because no one domestic has really seen him. The real Santa is dressed in camouflage, with a black beanie on his head. He has not an ounce of fat on him with muscles that'll make Arnold jealous. His scarred face tells the tale of battles from the past. His reindeer are also battle hardened. Rudolph the red nose reindeer is real, except his nose glows infrared that can only be seen by infrared or night vision goggles.
So where does all these toys come from if he's not making them? Look on the box and you'll see "made in China". Santa is a multi-billionaire; money's he's earned through out the ages of rewards from ancient kings to modern nations. He takes one day off a year from ridding the world of evil to enjoy putting a smile on a child's face.
No one really knows how old Santa Claus is or where he came from, but the first recorded accounts of him comes from one of the ancient battles during the crusades. The Knights Templar were ambushed by receiving false intel from the French King Philip IV. At the time, Jacques de Molay was a head figure for the Templars. The Templars had first banking system to which France was in debt to and needed to fund their war with England. The king needed to justify his thievery he was about to partake from the Templars. Philip publicly burned Boniface VIII’s Bull Unam Sanctam which gave the Pope absolute supremacy over everyone. He then accused the Templars of heresy and blasphemy. Next, he needed to dwindle their forces through ambush. The Templars were grossly outnumbered and at a tactical disadvantage. Then out of no where, the sound of sleigh bells filled the air above. Without warning Santa swooped down and destroyed the whole French ambush force. From that point on, he was deemed a Saint. Saint Claws as the Templar's dubbed him.
Santa does not work alone. He has help. Elves that are just as cunning and lethal. Great bow marksmen, these warriors can hit their target silently at the same distance a Marine sniper could with a 7.62 long cartridge. Give them a knife and they'll silently rid a battalion in one night.
One of the latest known battles Santa Claus appeared in was during the Iraq war. A British recon team was displaced through an ambush. Only a hand full survived. They were being tracked by Saddam's Republican Guards to the East and the Fedayeen closing in from the North. Out of ammo, food and water, things were looking bleak. Suddenly, the sweet sound of sleigh bells rang. Santa hovered his sleigh and team of reindeer above the recon team. Five elves repelled down and rescued the men. But this wasn't just a search and rescue mission. It was a search and destroy mission. Santa took the reigns of his sleigh while an elf manned a Mini-gun mounted to the sleigh. Not one Iraqi soldier survived that day. One of the rescued soldiers mentioned that Santa took the head of an Iraqi Lieutenant and piked it on Rudolph's antler. When asked why he did that, his reply, "One day out of the year, I spread Cheer and Joy; the rest of the year I put the fear of God into these."
This Christmas, be sure to leave milk and cookies for the hero of ages. It's the least you could do for the freedom you have. And make sure you tie a yellow ribbon to your Christmas tree for all the troops that can't spend Christmas at home. They're out there protecting our freedom.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
My father personally worked with with Santa over seas. He saved his life as well as the lives of many. He's an elite multi-force operator taking missions that others can not do. He's worked with different task forces such as the Navy Seals, British SAS and others. Yes, the myths about Santa is real, he is thousands of years old, flys around in a sleigh with reindeer. But what is not known is the fact that he's a killing machine that brings peace to the world through superior fire power and surgical attacks. From the crusades, WWII to today's conflicts, Santa had his hands secretly aiding in the fight for freedom.
This explains why no one can ever spot him. Many children have waited Christmas Eve to see him only to find Christmas presents under the tree with no clue on how he got past their security. He always seem to get past the best home security systems, dogs and even surveillance cameras. He accomplishes this by using the same stealth tactics he uses during his black ops missions. His red suite and beer gut are just myths made up by folks because no one domestic has really seen him. The real Santa is dressed in camouflage, with a black beanie on his head. He has not an ounce of fat on him with muscles that'll make Arnold jealous. His scarred face tells the tale of battles from the past. His reindeer are also battle hardened. Rudolph the red nose reindeer is real, except his nose glows infrared that can only be seen by infrared or night vision goggles.
So where does all these toys come from if he's not making them? Look on the box and you'll see "made in China". Santa is a multi-billionaire; money's he's earned through out the ages of rewards from ancient kings to modern nations. He takes one day off a year from ridding the world of evil to enjoy putting a smile on a child's face.
No one really knows how old Santa Claus is or where he came from, but the first recorded accounts of him comes from one of the ancient battles during the crusades. The Knights Templar were ambushed by receiving false intel from the French King Philip IV. At the time, Jacques de Molay was a head figure for the Templars. The Templars had first banking system to which France was in debt to and needed to fund their war with England. The king needed to justify his thievery he was about to partake from the Templars. Philip publicly burned Boniface VIII’s Bull Unam Sanctam which gave the Pope absolute supremacy over everyone. He then accused the Templars of heresy and blasphemy. Next, he needed to dwindle their forces through ambush. The Templars were grossly outnumbered and at a tactical disadvantage. Then out of no where, the sound of sleigh bells filled the air above. Without warning Santa swooped down and destroyed the whole French ambush force. From that point on, he was deemed a Saint. Saint Claws as the Templar's dubbed him.
Santa does not work alone. He has help. Elves that are just as cunning and lethal. Great bow marksmen, these warriors can hit their target silently at the same distance a Marine sniper could with a 7.62 long cartridge. Give them a knife and they'll silently rid a battalion in one night.
One of the latest known battles Santa Claus appeared in was during the Iraq war. A British recon team was displaced through an ambush. Only a hand full survived. They were being tracked by Saddam's Republican Guards to the East and the Fedayeen closing in from the North. Out of ammo, food and water, things were looking bleak. Suddenly, the sweet sound of sleigh bells rang. Santa hovered his sleigh and team of reindeer above the recon team. Five elves repelled down and rescued the men. But this wasn't just a search and rescue mission. It was a search and destroy mission. Santa took the reigns of his sleigh while an elf manned a Mini-gun mounted to the sleigh. Not one Iraqi soldier survived that day. One of the rescued soldiers mentioned that Santa took the head of an Iraqi Lieutenant and piked it on Rudolph's antler. When asked why he did that, his reply, "One day out of the year, I spread Cheer and Joy; the rest of the year I put the fear of God into these
This Christmas, be sure to leave milk and cookies for the hero of ages. It's the least you could do for the freedom you have. And make sure you tie a yellow ribbon to your Christmas tree for all the troops that can't spend Christmas at home. They're out there protecting our freedom.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Labels: Phillip Lanier - 12/2011
posted by Poetic Justice at 11:39 PM
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